For a while there were vitamin commercials on television. I’m not talking about women and the recommended prenatal vitamins, I’m talking about multi vitamins. I don’t see them anymore. Ironically, we’ll spend half a day looking for vitamin pills to make us live longer, then drive 90 miles an hour to make up for lost time. That reminds me of a joke.

Knock Knock.

Who?s there?

Vitamin.

Vitamin who?

Vitamin for a party!

You see folks on a treadmill from time to time on television. A scene with a character exercising isn’t nearly as interesting or amusing as a chase scene. Have you ever noticed these things?
• If the person you are chasing has just taken the elevator down from the 20th floor, you will be able to get to the street quicker than he can by running down the stairs.
• If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick’s Day parade - at any time of the year.
• A person being pursued will always stop and throw something at the person chasing them - even though it takes three times longer to stop and throw the obstacles than it does for the person chasing to jump over them

Did you ever notice that on television that don’t really show characters trying to find a job? It’s true. They will mention characters being unemployed but they don’t usually get into the reality of job hunting and interviewing. They could make a reality show out of what not to do on interviews. That could be funny and provide a learning experience, don’t you think?

• In the 19th century, long before sunbathing became fashionable, men and women already had tan lines and white bottoms.
• The most beautiful girl in school will never be able to get a date.
• You can tell if somebody is British because they will be wearing a bow tie.
• If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert in Nuclear Fission at age 22.
• In the 23rd century, all humans will be beautiful. Humanity will make up for this by wearing awful clothes.
• Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
• Extremely beautiful and intelligent women are likely to become either prostitutes or welders.
• Dinosaurs only eat ugly or immoral people.

It seems that commercials for products and services related to weight loss products are on the rise. Recently they’ve begun trying to pass law in Spain stating that commercials for some diet and beauty products would not be able to be shown before 10 pm. The reasoning is that they don’t want to encourage “body worship”, meaning they don’t want to foster a fixation on weight within the viewers. What are your thoughts on limiting certain commercials to late night?

• One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them than 20 men firing at 1 man.
• Wearing a vest or stripping to the waist can make a man invulnerable to bullets.
• If being fired at by Germans, hide in a river - or even a bath. German bullets are unable to penetrate water.

For a long time one of the biggest weight loss success stories out there was that of Jared and Subway. It had been said that Jared lost over 200 pounds just by eating Subway sandwiches for lunch and dinner. I don’t recall any mention of exercise or fitness equipment but would think he must have been doing something besides eating sandwiches to lose that much weight. I haven’t seen Jared in any commercials in a while now. Last year the Subway commercials I saw had Tony Stewart, Michael Phelps and another celebrity. My favorite Subway commercial to date had Greg Biffle in it getting pulled over by a police car with a sub between his knees. It just looked funny. Do you have a favorite Subway commercial?

• During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
• The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job.
• A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
• During a murder investigation lasting several weeks it will not be necessary for detectives to go home at any time to eat, sleep, shave or change their clothes.
• Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
• Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.

I used to see commercials for acne products on television all of the time. I’m guessing that industry is changing, as are many others, because I don’t see many commercials for those types of products any more. Rather than commercials people are turning more and more to the internet. There are now websites devoted entirely to subjects such as blackhead extraction. What commercials have you noticed an increase or decrease in?

When it comes to casual entertaining I never gave much thought to food presentation, particularly what I’m serving the food in. I’ve usually used whatever bowl or dish fit whatever I was serving best, also keeping in mind easy clean up and leftover storage. I didn’t realize until we had a small party at work how much nicer the food looks when it’s in nice serving dishes. Take chips and dip, or tortillas and salsa. Imagine you are a guest, sitting in comfortable home theater seating for a movie party. Which leaves a bigger impression – an old piece of Tupperware or a nice, festive sombrero that holds chip and keeps dip warm? For me it was the sombrero. It just seemed to make things more fun. I’ll be keeping that in mind before I host my next get together. Do you usually serve food in special dishes or whatever is handy?